My Karma

What a Karma I have?

Spending life without being a child

The death of my mother- my creator, my God, my goddess

Lived or suffered I do not know

In my childhood and even in adulthood

But I am indebted to my mother, to my father

My god and goddess, who suffered for me, who did everything for me

Whatever they could from their part, from their capacity, from their side

Despite I lived without being a child, without enjoying the life

I pray, I worship and I remember

For them until I breathe my last in my life

Even after my last breath, they will remain my source of inspiration

I pray from the bottom of my heart

Give me strength to do something and express my gratitude for your sacrifice     

I suffered since my childhood

The death of my mother

Living like in an alien land

I hardly filled my belly

I hardly smiled

There was hardly glow in my face

The injustice, the inequalities and the rudeness

Filled my holy heart with tears

Rolling like rains from my cheeks

Entering into my hearts

Nearly broke my heart

The worldly outlook

The suffering of millions of people

The conflicts, wars, diseases and millions of problems

Around the globe inspired me to live

Luxury and happiness were remote distant unfamiliar words

But I the same man- gave luxury and happiness

To my siblings

To my dear ones

To my heart

To the palpitation of my life blood

Suffering again

Suffering in my last part of my life

Neither I had childhood

Nor the adulthood enjoyment

For the sake of my children

For my heart

The loved one

But I am suffering that sins

I committed giving love and compassion

Thinking that would bear a good lesson

A moral and value based lesson

Responsibility, accountability and transparency

Not for me but for him

For his future - a bright future

I expected, I dreamed and I wished.

But to my surprise

Today I am weeping again

The suffering of my past: my childhood and adulthood

Was nothing compared today

Today, I am broken and devastated

I am gone and at the end of my life

Fragile like glass kept in the conflict ridden area

I can break, my heart can break like the glass anytime

Any second, any moment

I am in deep grief

To whom shall I tell my grief?